


Eternal Sunshine

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gentle fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, but im sorry ahead of time, the rest is a surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Jongin was forever going to be Sehun's eternal sunshine.





	Eternal Sunshine

Sehun licked over his lips, fingers nervously messing with the lines of his suit as he looked over the small crowd of people standing in front of him with their attention on him. He swallowed thickly, he rehearsed this a few times. Not too many though, he just didn’t want to mess up. This was a day he couldn’t mess up, not today. He took a small breath and let his shoulders drop as he looked up at the crowd that was becoming a little hard to look at, but he willed himself to look.

 

“I’m Oh Sehun, I’m sure you all know me. You’ve all seen me in Jongin’s life, we were childhood best friends that somehow got blessed with a cliche of falling in love. But, I’ll get to that later. Kim Jongin, the world’s glowing light of sunshine, everywhere he went even in his youth he was constantly glowing. A beautiful smile was always on his face, and I think back then that’s what attracted me to him as a child, the smile of neverending happiness and his warmth of course.

We became inseparable, ugh God we were everywhere together. Where one was, the other wasn’t too far behind. There wasn’t me without Jongin or Jongin without me. It seems like the world knew we fell in love before we did since they smiled at us kindly or made assumptions that neither of us could find ourselves getting mad about. We always got pink cheeked and giggly, exchanging small shy looks with one another. I don’t know how we didn’t know we were in love, but I remember realizing I was in love with him, and it was the best day of my life. Well, one of them.” Sehun paused, looking down for a short moment before back up. 

“There was a meteor shower, it lit the sky so beautifully but for some reason I could only focus on Jongin and how he stared at the sky. He stared at the fucking sky like it was the first time he had ever seen a sky before. Lips parted in amazement, and he turned to me and asked me ‘have you ever seen something so beautiful before? The stars, the meteors, the way you can actually see the sky?’ I had seen something as beautiful to what he was referring to, but it wasn’t the sky right now. It was him, Jongin staring back at me, and so I nodded. ‘Yeah, I have.’ 

He blushed prettily, but he looked back to the sky and that’s all it took for me to know I was in love with him. 

One day he told me how he fell in love with me. He told me he fell in love with me while we were studying, and he said it was because I danced for him to a song that was his favorite. I remember that, I worked so hard just to impress him. He told me he fell in love with me right then, and when he told me that I kissed him so hard after that. Our love, it’s pure, it was pure. It’s beautiful, and it was golden.

We had rough patches in our relationship, but every relationship does and I feel like we always conquered them. University was a rough one since there was a sea of new people just swimming around us wanting to look and touch but we branded ourselves with a stain of each other. I do remember one guy who flirted with Jongin relentlessly, and we had a huge blowout about it because I was insecure with myself.” He stopped for a minute, looking down with a dry chuckle leaving his lips before looking back up to the rapt crowd. 

“That wasn’t even our biggest fight but it felt devastating to me then because I didn’t understand how that could have happened to us, for us to get there and reach that point. But we mended, and we were stronger then, and I realized maybe that fight wasn’t too bad after all. 

In high school I wasn’t able to take him out on many dates and if we did, we went to Subway or some shitty fried chicken place that sold 79 cent chicken, Jongin insisted back then it was miracle chicken, I always argued otherwise.” He laughed quietly along with the listeners before continuing. 

“Our first real date involved me saving up some money but it was well worth it. Since our childhood, Jongin talked about going to the Lotte World Aquarium, his parents couldn’t ever afford to go and when I took him it was so worth the money I had to save. He had a childlike joyish glow to his face, smile brighter and bigger than anything  I had ever seen before. He tugged me everywhere, and I let him, laughing at how cute and sweet he was. 

Amazing how that first date was just ten years ago, amazing that so many more dates followed after that and some were the equivalent of my high school ones and some were as simple as a walk through the ark with cherry blossom trees letting their flowers fall into Jongin’s thick hair. Kissing in the sweet wind, hearing his giggle on my lips, time went by fast and soon a dorm turned into an apartment for grad school. Living together with Jongin was no different from a dorm room, it wasn’t too much of a struggle and by all means he was simply glowing always. Glowing, my sunshine Jongin, he was glowing in the morning when he would get sick and he would power through by popping a few Tylenol and said he felt better. He did, so I believed him.

After grad school we got real adult jobs and lived real adult lives, but I was missing something. I believe he could feel we were missing something too. The space on his ring finger was vacant, I wanted to change that more than anything in this world. I took him back to Lotte World Aquarium, to his favorite exhibit with the otters and asked him to marry me.” Sehun paused, blinking a few times at the crowd as his fingers held onto the suit a little tighter. 

“He didn’t even let me finish my sentence, he threw himself on me and mumbled yes as he kissed me to the point of not being able to breathe. But I loved that, I love that more than anything in this world. His lips on mine, it felt right. Planning the wedding with him was simple since Ii was more into the details and Jongin was more about exchanging his vows and changing his surname to mine. Oh Jongin, I thought Kim Sehun would sound better but Jongin thought it would be better to be Oh Jongin. I didn’t argue, made me feel a little more possessive when he had my name. 

Getting married to him, easily the best day of my entire life. He looked so stunning in that suit with his cheeks redder than I had ever seen him, watery eyes and a grin that could stand out more than the brightest star in the sky. He always did stand out more than anything in the world, but in that moment his glow was brighter than ever. He was always vocal about how much he loves me, and him standing in front of me with a grin and an aura that glowed gold, it showed. 

The honeymoon was a blur, I can’t remember anything besides being totally enclosed by my husband for four days before real life beckoned. Four years ago, married for four years but it felt like 20. I, I’ll always love that so much. 

Things about Jongin that people didn’t ever notice was how kind he always was, putting others before himself and had a constant need to be loyal and sweet to everyone and everything. Jongin had so much devotion to his friends and wow, did they all love him. Chanyeol, Jongin’s best friend in the whole entire world behind me, did everything for Jongin.” Sehun smiled to Chanyeol who simply looked at him with an awe that Sehun understood. 

“They were inseparable, not like how him and I were but Jongin and Chanyeol were attached to the hip. I remember one night Chanyeol got into a bad fight with an ex girlfriend and Jongin left the house at two in the morning to be there for Chanyeol while he cried. Park Chanyeol got some of Jongin’s love, and Chanyeol always returned said love. Chanyeol, is a huge piece of Jongin’s life and Jongin will always be a huge piece of his, and that for sure is known. 

Kyungsoo, his other friend, Jongin has spent so much time cracking this one down to stop being so grumpy and bitter. Jongin paid for so many of his things so Kyungsoo can finally get his art career going and he did.” Kyungsoo rubbed his nose, staring at Sehun blankly, which he understood too. “Kyungsoo and Jongin had a type of understanding I didn’t get, but it wasn’t for me to get, it was just their form of love and I’m grateful for that.

Baekhyun spent so much time trying to get Jongin out of his shell that the day it happened Baekhyun screamed and hugged Jongin so tight that Jongin was practically begging him to let go.” A small laugh from Baekhyun as he sheepishly looked down, rubbing his nose as well. “Jongin always spoke fondly of Baekhyun, knowing Baekhyun was always there for good intentions and despite him being frighteningly loud, he’d always rather have Baekhyun in his life than without.” Sehun paused, looking down as a little breath exhaled slowly. 

“Jongin liked the dorky things of life, Jongin preferred watching B rated horror movies instead of going out to parties, I love him for that. Jongin would always find a way out of intense heavy socializing but he’d go for me sometimes, and when he did he always held onto me like I’d disappear and leave him alone. As if I would ever leave him alone.

He knew I wouldn’t but sometimes… sometimes he held onto me so tightly that I thought if he were to let go I’d float away. He confessed to me so many times he worries about me finding better, and I don’t think he listened to me hard enough when I told him there was no better. I let him hold onto me like I was slipping, because I would prove to him I wasn’t slipping away.” He blinked rapidly as he looked at the crowd. 

“Our love wasn’t ever fading. He wasn’t leaving me, I wasn’t ever leaving him. There is no me without him, no one could ever compare. No one can ever compare to how the light dances and swirls in his eyes, the grin on his lips, the way his pout is always so full and supple, how he held me like I was the most fragile thing in the world and needed to be protected even though that was him. No one can compare to how stupidly cheesy we were when we went out into the middle of a rainstorm to kiss because I watch stupid romantic movies, no one would do that for me but he did. No one will ever be Jongin, and no one could ever love me unconditionally like he did and I can’t ever love someone how I love him.

I told him these things countless times during his times of feeling ill, or when he was sad and needed someone there. I told him as I kissed into his hair that even when we’re both gone, I’d find him in another life, because there is no me without him. It’ll always be us now and forever.” He took a shakier breath, swallowing hard as he nodded himself on, looking down now.

“Always us now and forever. Something I always told him when he held my hand like a vice even if he felt weak. I stand by those words, I believe in another life and soul mates, Jongin is mine and our love will last forever. I believe in the next life I’ll kiss his soft lips, and he believed just as equally that he’d kiss mine. People would say we’re naive, and maybe that’s so, but it mattered to me for him to know he’s the love of my life and he’d be the only love of my life. That he was the fullest extent of my love and I wouldn’t change anything for the world because… because seeing him next to me each morning made up for everything in the whole fucking world. 

The world is a shitty place, things may shine and gleam and glow every now and then but the world is a horrible place. Jongin though, he made it good. I woke up terrible and sad some days but I saw him next to me in the morning with the sun hitting his bare back and his face swollen from sleep. Everything in this world is so worth it because I got to see him there, every single morning, lips parted and blissful in his sleep. 

I started this speech off by saying Kim Jongin, Oh Jongin, is the world's sunshine. While that is true, he’s my sunshine more than anything. He needed sunshine more than anything but he was mine and I tried my damn hardest to always be his by taking him out late at night to carve our initials into a tree like a pair of teenagers. Put on all his favorite movies and kiss him until he could only focus on me and that was it. His light was always glowing, I could always feel it when he looked at me and while I tried my hardest to be a sunshine for him, he barely had to smile and he was sunshine to me.

His glowing light never stopped, he was always himself and his laugh always coursed so strongly throughout everything that it vibrated warmth throughout your chest and made your veins pump harder with purpose and drive. Jongin, the world’s sunshine, who always told me I was his sunshine. I tried my best to believe him and I didn’t believe him until he proved it to me. 

He proved it to me in the simplest way, everything and anything could be beating him down but when I stepped into a room, he glowed. So, while he was my sunshine, I was his and I guess nothing compares to the reality of that. He needed a sunshine more than the world needs one, and I’m so glad I got to be his for 20 years.” Sehun didn’t recognize his own voice for a moment but he looked down again.

“Jongin, my angel, my flawless baby boy. You were so strong in your weakest time of sickness. You didn’t let your disease beat you down and strip the best parts of you. You glowed and you always looked so beautiful, you were so strong and I’m so glad I got to witness every part of you for 20 years of my life. I’m so glad I got to be your shining sun, and I never told you before. Every time you asked me if I’ve ever seen something more beautiful, I always answered yes because the answer is always you.

Nothing will ever be more beautiful than you, nothing will ever compare to you and nobody could ever make me feel for them what I feel for you. Waking up to an empty bed has been the hardest thing to bear because my sunshine, my only sunshine is gone. No one will ever be sunshine to me how you are. No one will ever fill my whole heart with a golden glow, no one will ever take your place, no one will ever take my last name again and I’ll never take theirs.

Jongin, I’ll find you in another life and I’ll marry you then too. You and I baby, it’ll always be us forever. My strong sunshine, you felt so guilty in your last few days because you knew you would depart. You apologized so many times for leaving but baby you didn’t leave me optionally and I know you never would.” Sehun didn’t know when tears started to fall or when his voice started to crack but he stared down at the plaque below with Jongin’s name and flowers surrounding it, body shaking with tears.

“I’d never leave you by choice either. I love you so much and I know you loved me, and I know I have a life to live, but my life won’t ever be the same without my sun shining in it. You’re eternal Oh Jongin, you’ll always be eternal, you’ll forever live on in my heart. Rest in peace my love, I promise we’ll meet in the next life, because there is no me if there is no you.” 

 

Sehun stepped away from the podium, body shaking with tears and raging sobs as Chanyeol guided him down. Tears stained the taller man’s milky cheeks as they both hugged tightly, Sehun wrinkled his suit and stained it with tears he knew but Chanyeol didn’t care. He listened to Chanyeol tell him how good he did, how Jongin would be so proud and that Jongin would eternally shine for Sehun. 

Sehun couldn’t fully watch Jongin get lowered into the ground, but he peeked from behind Chanyeol’s shoulder as his husband got lowered six feet under, the funeral was a small simple one. Sehun wasn’t sure how he got all that time to talk but he figured no one would interrupt the husband of the deceased.

He left with Chanyeol beside him, both meekly still crying as they got into the car. He wiped his tears and sniffled quietly, looking ahead of him at the dashboard where a small wallet sized photo of Jongin and Sehun sat. Jongin was glowing, staring at Sehun as if the whole universe was Sehun. 

Sehun knew now more than ever that the universe was Jongin, and that Jongin was forever going to be his eternal sunshine.

**Author's Note:**

> so hey... i'm sorry y'all i hope u liked it though!   
> i love you jongin, my perfect baby, my ult bias <3


End file.
